Elijah had an AWESOME time at WCBVI - Fairy Tales and Fantasy Camp. He went bowling, threw an axe and knives, went to a Renaissance Fair, went fishing, and so much more. They definitely kept the kids busy. We have tons of craft project that he made. He enjoys Art so much.

I was so excited to pick him up on Fri. It felt like I hadn’t seen him for 20 years. He has been filling my brain with educational information from the medieval times. It’s crazy how much he learnt. Did you know that if someone was being accused of a crime, they would place their hand in boiling water and if the hand did not blister they were found innocent. Gee, betcha alot of people were guilty!

The teachers all enjoyed working with him. They stated he was very well liked and they loved his enthusiasm.

He was even interviewed for their local newspaper. He most definitely was super-duper excited about that.

Elijah and I are thinking that the school has spooks in it. HA! He left his shower gel in the shower and went back to get it right away and it was gone. He left a bracelet in one room and went back to get it and it was gone. He also left his white cane in a room, went back to get that and that was gone. None of these items have shown up. Our only explanation is…there are friendly spooks that enjoy taking things to confuse the students. - He got a brand new cane out of the deal! His other one was stuck together and couldn’t be folded up, so we were pretty happy!

Update: Just spoke with the DPI dude that I had dinner with a few months back (Yeah we still talk, he was in town so he stopped to visit PooWee and I) Well, I told him about the spooks. He said we weren’t the first to say that and he believes the school is haunted. He said he wouldn’t want to sleep there. Sounds like they are friendly spooks though, they just hide your stuff!

I took him off to the Lion’s Camp yesterday. He saw some of his friends from the WCBVI. I told him I think he going to find out that he will spend much of his summers with the same kids. We called them his summer family. Its so great that he spend time with kids like him. He’s got friends that are younger than him up to 1 years old. One boy at WCBVI is 17 and Eli and him really connected. How great is it that he has someone like him to look up to.

I also find it so heart warming to see Eli assisting kids that have more of a vision loss than him. You will often see him guiding them as they walk. When it comes to these camps, Elijah is actually more fortunate in his vision than so man of the other kids. Last year at Lion’s Camp he was nominated for “Future Camp Counselor” because he assisted so many of the other kids.

I am just overwhelmed how far Elijah has come to terms with his blindness. Yeah we had our spout of depression close to a year ago. He picked up the pieces well and has moved on. I think the future will bring ups and downs for him. I know when it comes to his sports, like soccer, there may be a time that he just won’t beable to play on a team because it get more competitive. I’ve already warned him of this, but gave him the thought that he could manage the team and play during practices and such. He understands what I’m saying. I just hope at that time he will accept it.

Andrew came with to drop Elijah off at the Lion’s Camp too. Andrew too has come along way in excepting Elijah’s vision. At first I don’t think he believed Elijah was blind. Oh the arguments that went on because Elijah was too close to the computer screen, or Andrew couldn’t see a corner of the TV. I think it’s hard because Elijah’s disability isn’t visual to the rest of us. As I learnt about it I tried to teach Andrew. Once I found the color test with a number hidden in the circle on the computer and had Elijah tell Andrew the number. Because of his color blindness he couldn’t do it. I think this was an eye opener for him. He’s more respectful as to allowing Elijah to take something for a few moments and hold it close to his face to where he can actually see it.

It’s hard to envision Elijah’s way of seeing. Imagine only using your peripheral vision, mess up the colors some and then have some block out areas. Too much for me to figure out. When I lay in bed and watch TV at night I look at the wall and try to figure out what is on the screen. It’s not too easy. When I walk down the long quiet hospital halls I look off to the side and try to find my way. I don’t live this way every minute of my days, my son has to. I want to give him my eyes and take his. I can’t. But I can try to encourage him to continue to live life to it’s fullest and not let his vision bring him down.

I’m so happy he has these camps, because they allow him to be with others kids like him. He loves the camps and has made so many friends. I love that he is with a wide age group too. He has some very good influences to look up to.

I thank all the volunteers and those that drop their change into the blind camp donation box at the check out. You are the ones that make it possible for my child to feel “normal” even if it is only for a week or two out of the year.

I stayed up way too late last night playing on the computer. My head is killing me this morning because of it. I feel like I have a hang over, but I didn’t even have a drop of alcohol.

While scooping out the blog some, reading old posts and all I realized I’ve been blogging for ONE YEAR! I was kind of excited. (YEAH, it doesn’t take much.)

I was super excited too because there is another mommy that same on the forum and announced her daughter was in foster care for the past week, she has an adoption plan, but since the moment her daughter was born she fell total in love with her. All of a sudden all of her reasons for the adoption didn’t matter anymore, she wanted to parent her daughter. (Don’t I know that one.)

Of course I replied screaming, GO GET YOUR DAUGHTER!!! I also PMed her and she replied back that she was going to talk with her councellor today and was 100% sure she would be getting her daughter. YAY!! I hope she lets us know how it went.

Elijah called me at work on Saturday from camp. He is having so much fun, however there was a sadness in his voice. There were people in the background so he was also speaking very softly, he doesn’t like others listening to him talk on the phone.

He’s been busy with craft projects. I guess he made a really big castle out of cardboard and is worried he won’t get it home. Anybody got a truck I can borrow? I told him I would leave the stroller at home so maybe there will be enough room in the trunk. He been playing a lot of chess, but is frustrated because he hasn’t won any games. They have have gone bowling and he won 2 games. He’s learning how to cook and said he’s going to make us some almond pudding and gingerbread cookies when he gets home. MMMMMM!

He expressed how badly he was dieing for a soda, but didn’t have 50 cents. I reminded him of the 10 dollar bill in his sunglasses case. He said he knew, but nobody had change. I asked him if he asked one of the adult. “NO! Why would I ask THEM?” was his reply. I had to laugh, guess he figures adults NEVER have any money. He went to the Renaissance Fair on Sunday, so now he has change.

Yeah-he called on Sunday too. This time he had an opportunity where nobody was around and he confessed, “I want to come home!” My heart broke, I want to just hop in the car and go get him, but I knew that he would have fun this week and he could hold out. We talked about all the fun he was having. His attitude got a bit negative, everything was “stupid and boring”. YEAH RIGHT! When he had to get off the phone I promised to call him Monday night.

Talked with him last night and he is fine. Yes, he’s homesick, but he had another fun day and was happy he stayed. He stated it was getting hard to wait to see me and PooWee though. He’s just so excited to see us he can’t wait much longer. He also had his first soda and said it was, “GOOOOOOOD!!”

I have strict orders to call him again tonight at 6:30. I sure do miss him! PooWee and I are trying to keep busy. Last Thurs. evening I didn’t know what to do, so PooWee and I headed to Elijah’s soccer game that he is missing. The coach had to chuckle at me for showing up and my son wasn’t even there. Hey! I’m BORED, and PooWee loved watching the kids play.

I got back downtown yesterday morning to finish shooting the rest of the chalk drawings. I was excited it didn’t rain. I wanted really bad to get a better shot of PooWee on Aaron’s work too. We got down there and the drawings were washed out! I was so disappointed. Mom and I debated back and forth if it did rain, she thought some kids may have gone down there and destroyed them, or that possible the morning dew had washed them out. Then a lady answered our question. Here someone forgot to shut of the timer for the sprinkling system. Yep-someone got in trouble at work yesterday! It’s a real bummer too, because so many people come down to look at them. Betcha this won’t happen again.

Aaron is coming over tomorrow to hang with PooWee and I. It’s been awhile since he’s come over during the week. Usually he picks him up from the sitters on Sundays for a few hours. I guess he has off and seeing he was doing the chalkfest this past Sunday he didn’t get PooWee. I’m thinking I’m going to take advantage of Aaron being here and take a shower when he’s here. WOW! I’m excited, I will get a shower without a lil guy pulling open the curtain and throwing toys in by me! YAY!

Bruce is growing…well…like a weed. I have to laugh, I just can’t pull him out. Bruce has become apart of our family. PooWee truly is proud of him. He walks up to Bruce and says, “WOW” and give him a kiss.

Today I have to do laundry, clean up the apartment and wash PooWee’s pool. I was lazy and never ran to get a tarp to cover the pool and there lots of debry and bugs that found their way in. So we drained it last night and today we will wipe it out and put new water in. Yes, I bought a tarp yesterday.

Andrew’s dad ended up in the hospital yesterday. I took him up there for awhile. Mike was in super bad pain, I believe he had a bowel obstruction. They were waiting to see they results of the CT Scan were and if he would need surgery or not. Of course I had to make sure he had a good doctor and care. His doc is top of the line awesome, so he had my approval to continue on with him. Right after we left Mike got rushed off to surgery. I called Andrew at 11 last night he hadn’t heard anything yet. This morning I got Andrew out of bed at 10:30 and he didn’t know anything yet. I told him to get up and find out! Still hasn’t called back.

Well, I guess I better get going on my chores for the day or they will never get done!

Happy day to all!!

PooWee’s Daddy won!!!! YAY!!! We are so excited for him!!

PooWee’s Daddy, Aaron won the Artist Choice Award at the Chalkfest this weekend! He is super excited and we are equally excited for him.

Note: Aaron has done the Chalkfest since it started. (not sure how long it’s been going on.) He doesn’t go into it with any planned drawing. He sits down starts drawing and well…here is what he came up with. The picture isn’t the greatest, but there are hidden items, lots of eyes lead to faces or a guitar. Aaron alson got quoted in todays paper, before he knew he won. His quote, “I like people to just stare at my work” and that’s what you need to do to get the real feel of his artwork.

Elijah has been upset that he couldn’t draw in the Chalkfest this year because he is at WCBVI. So he asked me to go and take a picture of every single chalk drawing. So, after work tonight we headed down to check out the artwork. 

I decided taking a video would be better. As I started taping and Grandma strolled with PooWee we run into Amy. Amy is a awesome teacher from the boys’ old daycare. I chatted with her for quite awhile. Then it was off taping again. I was sure not to miss any. Believe me he would find out if I did.

Almost half way through, Grandma and PooWee ran into his babysitter, Brenda. Of course PooWee persuaded Brenda to lift him out of the stroller. (BAD NEWS!!) PooWee started showing off to everyone, doing his little “PooWee dance”, but then he thought it would be cool to dance on the artwork. Oh NO!

It was close to 9:00 already, he was tired and now he wasn’t listening and staying off the artwork, so I decide it was time to go and I would finish getting the rest of the artwork for Elijah tomorrow. We quickly found Aaron’s work to check it out.

PooWee was a bear, so we really just had to get him out of there. Well, PooWee wasn’t having that, he threw a fit! I’m sure the whole downtown could hear him as I was carrying him back to the car. I get to the car and my phone rings. Here it’s Aaron. He asked what I was doing and I told him where we were. He asked me to do him a favor…put PooWee in the center of his artwork and take a picture! (AARON! Do you hear the fit he is throwing! This fit is because I won’t LET HIM GO ON THE ARTWORK!) I just chuckled at Aaron and told him I would. I told him why I had to laugh though.  He said, “He can go on my work anytime! I have to have a picture with him in it. He got to sit in the middle and be like…YEAH THIS IS MY DAD’S!” Aaron was super proud, he should be.

So, back to the picture we go.  PooWee was in seventh heaven! A couple took the picture for me as I tried to get PooWee to sit nice in the middle. Finally he relized these strange people we taking his picture and he looked at them. He even did the “PooWee dance” on it!

I am crossing my fingers that it doesn’t rain tonight. I only got about half way through. Elijah will be so upset if I don’t get the rest, but he will understand. Andrew is going to come help me with PooWee tomorrow so I can finish up.

HELP!!!! My mind has been going crazy, I don’t know what to do about something.

My step-mom is selling my dad’s house. (Dad passed away 6 years ago.) Wish I could buy it, but there’s just no way right now. That’s not the real issue though, the problem is some of the items that she is selling WITH the house.

1-My G-ma and G-pa electric fireplace. It’s an old thing, it still works and would look cute on my living room wall!

2-My G-ma and G-pa’s ANTIQUE chandelier. BEAUTIFUL! Not sure how old it truly is, but I do recall years ago my Uncle saying it had to be about 100 years old. This chandelier was actually promised to my sister N by my father and my step-mother knows this. It may even be in the will.

My step-mom moved from a four bedroom home to a small two bedroom apartment.  Nothing was offered to me.  I know one of my father’s wishes were for his antique toy truck collection to be divide up among the grandson’s. I have three out of four of the grandsons. Grant it PooWee wasn’t around when my father was alive, I still feel he wouldn’t want him left out. My aunt told me the trucks all of them went to the other grandson. (My step-sister’s son.)

My step-mother and I have continued a relationship since my father passing, so it’s not like we weren’t talking. I think one of the things that bothers me the most is she didn’t do as my father had trusted she would do. They had a joint will that stated upon his passing everything went to (step-mom) and then when she passed things were to get divided up among us four kids. Two from my step-mom and two (myself and my sister, N) from my dad. It almost appears to me as if she is giving everything away now, (to her children and grandchildren, so that when she does pass (hopefully not for many years) there will be nothing passed on to my sister and me.

My father and her were truly best friends and I love her to death for she did for my father. She took care of him until the day he died, she never left his side. She’s done so much for me and my boys as well.

I guess my hurt has grown to anger and I don’t know how to face it. I know my relationship with her is more important than material items, so I don’t want to blow things out of proportion. I guess, I see these items as part of my heritage, and my boys’ heritage. They have nothing to do with her heritage, so her heart probably isn’t involved in them.

What do I do? Do I confront her, or just let it go?

Bruce is a huge weed that grows in our driveway. In the past years Bruce has been unable to thrive due to us constantly pulling him out. He was always determined to win and constantly grew back. This year Bruce has a friend, PooWee. PooWee loves Bruce and takes good care of him. I believe Bruce may have even gotten a few kisses now and then.

It all started with me watering our berry bushes,

or the flowers that grow behind our garage. It’s somewhat sad they hide behind the garage by the alley where no one sees them.

PooWee then needs his turn to play with the garden hose.

And as you can see, he waters what I neglect. The weeds truly love him! I’ve pulled them out only to get “yelled” at by him. He truly scolds me for doing so. I have left them alone and he takes care of them.

Bruce…Bruce is his favorite. I think Bruce is a very happy weed this year, thanks to PooWee!

Moving on…

We are missing Elijah. Took him to Janesville on Sun. Here’s a picture of his bed for the next two weeks. It’s the only picture I took when we dropped him off.   

There’s four beds to a room, however only one other boy in with him. His group that he will be with actually only has three kids. One is a girl, poor thing having to deal with two boys for 13 days!

He took his journal along in hopes to write in it each night. OH-I hope he does, I can’t wait to hear what he all has been up to! When I checked him in I had to sign a permission slip for him to learn how to throw knives and an axe! (Yes, you read that correctly!) Being the theme of the camp in Medieval Times he gets to learn these “skills”. He thought that was just awesome! I however am, worried he’ll want to practice at home!

Bought PooWee a pool. Seeing Elijah’s gone I’m not going to spend $5 to go to the local pool for a few hours.

And let me tell you…PooWee OWES me BIG TIME! He will be 16 years old and I will remind him of the day I pumped up his pool…

WITH a LITTLE FOOT PUMP!! I should have timed myself. Let’s just say, I started in the living room at night when he was sleeping, carried downstairs and finished the following afternoon.

HE LOVES IT THOUGH! Anything and everything he finds has been thrown into it. He’s tried to throw rocks in, was successful twice and then learnt, NO ROCKS IN THE POOL!

See that yellow foot pump on the right? YEP! That’s what I used.

Grandma went strawberry picking. She brought some over for the Poo-meister and he LOVES ‘em!

He ate so many, she gave us another bowl full for him. Don’t tell, but I snuck some too! THANKS GRANDMA!

One of PooWee’s favorite games is hiding within the clothes hanging on the line. Isn’t he just so adorable?!

Andrew popped in the other night. He ended up spending the night.

Teddy Bear made himself comfortable. Teddy must have gotten a call on Andrew’s cell and PooWee was gracious enough to hold the phone for him. Sure hope he didn’t rake up the bill on me!

Well, I guess that’s enough for today. It is Thursday, so I want to finish up on this weeks chores and get ready for the weekend, before PooWee wakes up from his nap. Once he wakes up, I promised him a bike ride to the park.

Hope everyone is having as much fun this summer as we are!

I’ve missed knitting. Since making PooWee’s winter sweater, I haven’t made anything. It’s hard to knit with a little one bouncing around. He doesn’t understand, “let Mommy finish this row”, he’d rather pull the needles from my hands. I think it all has to do with my attention being elsewhere. He use to sit on my lap, so nicely and watch the needles. Those days are looooooong gone.

Decided to show off the progress on my purse. It’s coming along quite fast. Just have to knit up the strap and then the knitting part is done. Well, except for piecing it all together. I’m thinking crazy and planning on running an I-cord around to put it together. OH I don’t like knittng I-cords! But, I think it will work well with the cables.

Then it’s to the sewing machine for the liner. Got the plans for the liner stuck in my head. The fun part will be putting it into reality. I have to go shopping for some funky material yet.

Here’s the front of the purse, a flap that will cover the front section, with the back attached. I also made a little pocket just for my cell phone. I am so sick of losing it in my purse.  

A closer look at the cable design on the front flap.

I started the strap, though I think I’m going to take this apart and make a different cable. I’m thinking of opening the cable up some, making a more chain link looking cable. The strap will run from the bottom, and then up the sides.

This is a view of the front, an open pocket for the back and the strap that I have started.  The pocket I’m sure will come in handy for all of the little items from rocks to toys that the boys think I need to hold on to for them. 

I ran out of pins to finish basting these pieces because I can’t find my other ones. BECAUSE my knitting stuff is such a mess from changing around shelves with Elijah and now all of my stuff is a complete mess. As you can tell by the photos.

The pic on the top shows the two shelves I took out of Eli’s room. Got me some Rasta colors in my room now! :) All my baskets are just thrown on them right now. Each plastic bag contains an unfinished item. The top of my dresser is also covered with stuff. (Even got some clothes peeking out. HA!

The bottom picture shows my shelf with all my patterns, which now need re-organizing. Good ol’ Bob Marley covers up one of my many yarn stash holders.

OH YEAH, I’ve got work ahead of me. Elijah’s room looks nice though!

Well, instead of blogging about my knitting, I do believe I should figure out my strap.

Happy knitting!

I just took a peek at my stats. Someone came across my blog through search engine. They were searching…

“What if mother decides not to place baby up for adoption”

Well, obviously they got their answer here. The mother PARENTS!

I was so HAPPY to see that this person referred to the baby’s mother CORRECTLY, by saying “mother”. I often get…

“Birthmother decides to parent”  or  “what if birthmother doesn’t place”

SOOOOO…..THANK YOU “UNKNOWN” for calling this lady what she exactly is…MOTHER (And in my eyes…always will be, NO MATTER what her decision!)

BRAVO!!!   BRAVO!!!!    BRAVO!!!!

So, Elijah has a new friend. We’ll call him Bill. This friend lives by my substitute sitters, (Shelly) house. My regular sitter has taken a few weekends off this summer, so Elijah has become pretty good friends with Bill.

Bill worries me. I don’t believe he is a good influence for Elijah. Actually, I know he can be a negative influence on Elijah. They can however play very well and have lots of fun.

Bill slept over one night. We went swimming, out to eat and rented movies and video games. The boys had a blast and didn’t have one little disagreement. When it was time to clean up the living room the following day, Bill just sat there. I asked him a few times to help Elijah pick up the mess both of them made, he still just sat. I did tell him that at my house, you need to pick up the mess you make. He then just wanted to go home. He lives about 15 blocks away and I wouldn’t let him walk. I had been planning on taking him home shortly, when Andrew came back with the car and PooWee woke up. He called his mother and she said it was OK for him to walk home by himself. Personally, I wouldn’t let my 9 year old walk that far by himself.

I talk with Elijah about Bill coming over again. Bill needs to respect my rules. I also had to talk about Elijah’s sassy mouth. He sure was a sas-bucket. He stated that he was only joking, but I made it clear I did not like it.

Last weekend Elijah wanted to spend the night at Bill’s house. I agreed. Well, Elijah has confided in me that there were some “not so good” things that accrued.

Bill’s older brother, John babysat them because Bill’s parents went to the bar. (And came home drunk.) Shelly has informed me that John has just gotten back home from being away for a year. Not sure if he was in Foster Care or a detention center.  Now, IF my kids had a friend sleep over and I went out and had some else babysit, I would make the parent aware I was not going to be home and someone else was going to be watching the kids. So, I was somewhat shocked, but everything was fine. Elijah said John was pretty nice.

The part that worries me the most is Elijah and Bill were able to rome the neighborhood all they wanted without informing anyone where they were. They ventured to a fireworks tent and BOUGHT some. This is illegal and I have spoken to the police that minors were sold fireworks at this place. 

I am very concerned that Elijah told me Bill also STOLD some fireworks. Elijah stated Bill said he was going to take some and Elijah told him not to. Then as they were walking to Bill’s house Bill pulled some out of his pocket. Elijah wanted to ask him for them, so he could sneak them back to the dealer, but feared the dealer would think he took them.

I talked with Shelly about speaking to Bill’s parents about him stealing. She told me not to bother, “they wouldn’t care anyways.”

Bill stold a lighter from his parents and was lighting the fireworks off without supervision. Elijah said he was worried Bill was going to start a fire, but did admit it was “fun too.” Bill’s younger brother told his parents he was lighting off fireworks. The father just yelled at him to stop, but NEVER TOOK THE LIGHTER AND FIREWORKS AWAY!!!!

Elijah stated that John taught Bill to steal. He also taught him to smoke last summer, but Bill doesn’t smoke anymore. (Yes, he’s only 9!) Bill really likes John and it’s obvious John is an influence on him.

I did meet Bill’s mother prior to him sleeping over. She came outside and we chatted some. Her appearance seemed dirty and she appeared to be very tired. She did mention that she was cleaning and had no sleep the night before. Now, I have the thought that possible she was “high” and hadn’t bathed for sometime. I hate to judge though.

When I went to pick up Elijah after he slept over, I met Bill’s father. He was a “ruff” looking man. Didn’t speak to me at all. He just yelled, “BILL GET YOUR D*MN A*S IN HERE, ELIJAH’S MOTHER IS HERE! NOW!” I waited in the car.

I’ve discussed the negatives of this friendship with Elijah. He argues he’s not going to do the “bad stuff Bill does”. I trust him, but am aware he can be influenced to do them. I also see Elijah as being a POSITIVE influence on Bill. I fear risking Elijah positive behavior, by letting him hang out with Bill.

I have agreed to let the friendship continue under the rule he does not go to any type of store without an adult with them. He is to play with Bill at Shelly’s house or our house ONLY. Elijah is anger at me for this decision. He INSISTS he’s not going to steal. I’ve explained that even if he doesn’t know Bill stold something, he could get into trouble for being with Bill. It hasn’t helped much, Elijah still sees it as a negative. I have basically told him, he either excepts my decision or I end the friendship entirely.

I think Bill is growing up in a household that doesn’t monitor him as much as I monitor my kids. His parents don’t seem do do much disciplining, hence him doing whatever he wants. I don’t want to label the family as being trouble makers, but that what appears to be the case.

So…what would you do?

I somewhat feel I’m risking Elijah’s good behavior to try and give Bill some positive influences. I don’t want to jeopardize Elijah in anyway. Right now I trust him with his choices and will watch the friendship closely. He has agreed to communicate issues with me. Though I do fear he may not tell me something in fear of me ending the friendship.

Elijah leaves on Sunday for two weeks. He’s home for two days and then leaves for another week. I’m happy to say that’s three weeks of not having to worry about them hanging out.

We are having the time of our lives…just enjoying summer. I love summer, I love being outside and I find my boys are the same.

Andrew just returned from a biking (pedal) trip with his dad and stepmom. (He whined and whined about going. I told him he could stay home with the boys and I would go.) They went to Michigan and biked about 35 miles a day and then camped for the night. Overall he pedalled 250 miles. He still says it was boring, but he’s enjoying his tan legs. I passed down my wonderful genes of being either white or red. I DO NOT tan. Now he knows the secret to being tan…bike all day for a week.

Elijah had his sports camp and loved it. He earned a medal at the track meet. His favorite part was sneeking out of his dorm room at night to knock on his friends’ doors and was all excited that he didn’t get caught. Next year he plans on doing it BOTH nights. Oh, why does he tell me this stuff.

He learnt how to flip someone as he was taught some Judo. So far nobody has volunteered to let him show us. ANYONE…SOMEONE…PLEASE - I’d really like to see him do it! (Obviously, I haven’t volunteered either.)

We only have this week left to goof around and then he’s off to his two week camp in Janesville. I take him down on Sunday. The theme is Fairy Tale, Fantasy and Medieval Times. Should be fun. They may even make it to the Renaissance Fair.

PooWee LOVES being outside. He throws a fit whenever we need to go in the house or in the car. He’s learning his boundaries. I should say HE KNOWS his boundaries and LOVES to test me. He walks right up to the neighbor’s yard and watches me, if I turn he’s takes a mad dash for their cool pond with a waterfall.

He is so into balls. I think he has 100 of them. Andrew is turning him into a lacrosse player. PooWee walks around constantly with a lacrosse stick in his hand.

Swimming is pretty cool to him too. We’ve spend many days at the pool. He’s made new friends. His favorite is to stand out of the pool and throw his balls in the water. Then other kids will retrieve them for him and he gets to throw them in again.

Me…I haven’t used the dryer once since the weather has been nice. I love hanging clothes out. Especially bedding, ahhh that fresh air smell as I fall off to dreamland.

I enjoy cutting the grass as well. Infact, the girl downstairs wants me to give her a chance to mow. HA HA HA I’m home more than she is and I get at it first. Although I ran our of gas yesterday and the front yard is only half done.

I’ve been knitting a new purse for myself. My current purse is getting quite rugged looking. I’ll have to take a few pics and post it. I think it’s going to nice. I don’t get too many chances to work on it, but it is coming along. I usually get the most work time during tubby time. PooWee plays and I knit. HHHMMMM-wonder how many baths I can get him to take in one day?

Well, Elijah is harassing me to get ready for swimming. He’s got some friends meeting him at the pool at 1:00. I better go, I’ve got so much to get ready yet.

Moose

2001-2008

Moose, your life was too short. We loved having you as part of our family. You will remain in our hearts FOREVER!

On Thurs. June 19th, I had to make a decision I never want to make again. I had our Mooser put to sleep. I’m not sure I agree with my decision. I feel as though I killed him, which I guess I sort of did. I use to think animals had it nice, in that they could be put out of their misery. But, when I was faced with that decision I tried everything to not make the choice. Then I listened to the Vet and gave the OK. Now, I question whether it was right for me to make that choice.

On Wed. I took Moose to the Vet. Fearing they would tell me there was nothing they could do for him. He had lost alot of weight, he wasn’t eating, he just laid around, barely able to walk. He didn’t have the strength to jump on my bed and lay at my feet as he did every night. He didn’t beg for fresh food in his bowl even though it was half full. He wasn’t Moose anymore.

Moose had a large mass in his stomach. The Vet poked a syringe into this mass (which Moose didn’t even flinch when she did it) and pulled out some fluid. It appeared to have some bowel and infection in it. She figures he had a bowel obstruction the backed up into his stomach.

The Vet did tell me the best for Moose was to put him to sleep right then and there. I told her I couldn’t until Andrew and Elijah had a chance to say good-bye. She agreed that they should and we planned on my returning on Thurs.

Andrew took Moose into the backyard and sat with him for sometime. He cried as he laid with Moose in the grass. He ran to the grocery store to buy Moose a can of tuna, which Moose did enjoy.

Elijah fell asleep with Moose under the coffee table as he said his good-byes.

I…I avoided Moose Wed. night. I didn’t want to face it. I pretended the situation wasn’t real and acted as if it were just another day.

As a family we discussed what would be best for Moose. They boys had so many questions I could not answer. I had agreed to call the Vet and ask these questions before proceeding.

Basically, all of our questions were answered with…”there’s nothing we can do.” Andrew really would have like to have Moose put down at home, but the vet said it didn’t fit their schedules for a few weeks. They didn’t have like a hospice care at home for Moose either.

I was told that Moose was not currently in pain, but would be at some time. When, they couldn’t answer. I really just wanted Moose to pass on his own at home in my arms. I didn’t want to make the choice for him. I wanted to wait as well. Then I was faced with no on e being home for the weekend. What if Moose started to have pain while no one was home. I leave the house at 6am and don’t return till 8pm if not later all weekend. What if he died alone and in major pain. I wouldn’t want that.

So, I called the Vet back and made the dreadful appointment. Meanwhile I had to find a container to bury him in. It was so hard. I wanted my dad to build a wooden box with carpeting as he did for our pets as I grew up. But, my dad is not around anymore, I had to do this on my own. I thought of running to the store to find something, but that just didn’t seem right. It would be an “unfamiliar” container for him. I finally chose a Rubbermaid container that held some of Eli’s toys. The hardest was seeing if Moose would fit. How could I put him in it, knowing he would be buried in it. I grabbed a receiving blanket of PooWee’s, some kitty toys and a picture of the three boys to place with him.

I bawled with him, held his fragile body and told him to move, to do something, to tell me not to do this to him. But, he just laid there all limp. He purred as he always did, but it was as if he was already dead.

I drove him to the vet. He laid on the floor in the car, cried a few times, but that was it. Normally, he basically throws a fit in the car. He HATED it and would let the world know. As I carried him in the vets there was a huge dog. Here too, Moose would have given this dog a piece of his mind, but this time, his head just hung from my arm and didn’t move an inch.

I got time with Moose in the office. I laid him on the table wrapped my arm around him and laid my head on him and cried. I told him I was sorry, that I didn’t know what was right or wrong. I didn’t want him to have any pain. He continued to purr.

The actual process wasn’t that bad on me. I held his head looked him in the eyes and told him we all loved him dearly. It was rather peaceful, he did just go to sleep. The vet curled him up into his forever container, he fit pretty snugly. We covered him with the blanket and placed the lid on.

Taking him out of the office in that container was hard. When I got to the car it all hit me…he was gone now. He would only remain in our hearts. There would be no more Mooser to laying on my feet at night. How could I have done this! What gave me the right to make the choice how short his life would be. What if he would have lived another month, week or even one more day?

Andrew dug the hole for him. Together Andrew and I placed Moose in it. (Elijah could not be there as he had left for camp already. He left with the hope that Moose would still be with us when he returned.) Andrew finished burying Moose and I put PooWee down for his much needed nap. I returned to Moose’s forever home to find the large rock Andrew dug up placed carefully at the top of the mount. Andrew figured Eli could paint it for Moose’s tombstone. On the mound of dirt Andrew drew a heart. I then went and got some seeds Elijah had given me for Mother’s day from school and we planted them in the heart.

My stepmother has tried to reassure me that I made the right decision. She has reminded me that Moose would have been gone 4 years earlier had I not decided to have his bladder surgery done. But, it doesn’t help, maybe he would have been with us a week longer had I not decided what I did. I know he would have died, but I can’t get over that I, I decided when he died.

Teddy Bear shows he is missing Moose. He’s at my feet all the time. He has lost his sleeping buddy, his playing buddy and also the buddy he fought with.

We all miss our Moose!