WHOOOO it’s been awhile for some of that Math stuff! But I did it!
I now have provisional acceptance into college. Just a few more steps, intake interview, financial aid, and my past transcripts.
I’m excited. Things are going to be quite busy the next four years! (HOPEFULLY! Not FULLY there yet!)
I’m going to pick up drinking. Heavily!
I just want everything to go away right now.
I’m ready for a long vacation, preferably someplace warm. If I close my eye I can see myself on the porch of a log cabin in the mountains. Trees are overlooking us. The sun is shining bright. Of course there’s no worries to be had.
Hey-a person can dream…right?
So…..whatcha want first the good or the bad? We definitely have both. Lets go with the “bad” or the things in life that I would rather not be dealing with.
I found out on Fri. that my appeal to the insurance company for a CCTV for Eli has come to an end. Actually, I should say it NEVER got started. Angry I am, because my “advocate specialist” NEVER sent the appeal letter like she said she would. And now my appeal time has expired. Nice specialist, ah? I would have written one. Either that or I could have gone with one of the other two organizations that offered to take my case. But when they found out I was working with the one my advocate works with they said to stick with her because that organization is top in the state. At this particular moment I beg to differ.
My mom is irritating the doo-doos out of me. I hate to say that, but she is. She is a complete nervous wreck about her trip. She’s forgetful, she’s repeating herself 100 times. She’s overly sensitive to the smallest things. She’s crabby. I know she’s not sleeping. I know she freaking out about going. But damn it, I’m sick of taking the backlash from her. I ask her a question and she blows up..”I already told you! Blah, blah….” Too bad 99.9% she hasn’t and normally she recalls who she told then. If she makes it to the airport on Saturday, I think I may be surprised. Why do something is it causes you this much stress?
I wish my friend wouldn’t have pointed out that the actions of Mr. Shockman being inappropriate. I can’t stop thinking about how I so easily accepted it as it was just the way things go and even made the excuse he was a nice guy. It amazes me how I swore I would never let another man treat me half as bad as my ex husband and yet I allowed this. Well, I didn’t allow ANYTHING, but I excused what he did do. IAM BETTER THAN THAT! I let myself sink to my old self that didn’t give a rat’s ass about herself and had no self-esteem. What the hell is up with that? One scumbag dragged me down…but only for a short time.
If a friend of mine confessed to me as I did to my friend, I’d be telling her to file charges. My friend told me this. I’m not filing. There’s too much a stake. He’s power… I’m the not. Just pray he stays away. I don’t want him near me again.
I think I’m done with the bad! YAY!
On to the good and bad…
PooWee’s IEP meeting is set up for Dec. 9th. Good that he is getting help with his speech. Bad because I still can’t agree with sending a 3 year old off on a bus to school. That’s MY time to teach him. I know I still can and will, but PRESCHOOL ALREADY??? In Roni’s world…the speech therapist would continue to come to our home and talk with him verses him going to her. 
Elijah and I are headed down to UW Hospital Eye Clinic on Dec. 1 for more tests on his vision. These test are looking at Stargardts Disease. Good because we may know more specifics on his vision. We’re pinpointing more. Bad because of the what ifs. What if things are worse than we thought.
I think I can go on to the good now.
ANDREW GOT ANOTHER JOB!!!! YAY!!! My bank account has been running on empty here. It’s been hard to help him out more than what he costed me when he lived with me. Plus without the child support I use to get with him. It warms my heart to know that he truly did appreciate it though. He has left his teen attitude in high school. YAY!
I have officially applied to college. My next step is to take the readiness tests. I need about 2 hour of peace and quiet. YEAH-I’m going to find that! I’m hoping the boys fall fast asleep tonight…EARLY!
When Elijah and I go down to Madison is highly possible I will be meeting up with Bryan. We never did get together this summer. But, I hope and pray it works out this time. Elijah has actually never met him. I feel strongly that he will really like him.
It’s not looking like Andrew will make it. And well, I’m getting a sitter for PooWee. This will be no fun for him at all. Eli will have a test done, then we wait…have another test done…then we wait…etc No fun for a 3 year old OR ME! I must not forget my knitting.
I don’t have the details of the tests yet, but the should be coming in the mail any day now.
Speaking of Bryan, I don’t think I ever did link all my internety friends to his site. Well, here ya have it…Crosswind Music.
Well, as I mentioned above, I’m at work and it’s been super slow all day, but now we are getting 2 patients. Speaking of good and bad. Bad that the patient is coming to the ICU, but good for my sanity as I now have something to do!
Throughout the last few days I’ve been contemplating the idea of returning to school. The last time I thought of this was right before I became pregnant with PooWee. (Which may have even played a factor in my adoption plan.)
I never really thought I would return anymore. Like being 35 is too old. I’ll admit I’m not overjoyed about having to start from square one again. Being over 10 years since I was last in college, none of my credits will transfer. Oh joy joy to all the gen eds and electives that I really don’t need nor want to do.
I’d prefer to just slam it all in at once. Jam pack me and let me go to town. But I’m wise enough to know that won’t work.
The way I’m looking at having to cut my income drastically, I’m thinking I might as well just go full out and go back to school. Take the negative situation and try to turn it positive.
I’m checking out grants and funds. Thinking I should atleast call make an appointment and see if this is even a possibility.
Then there is the decision on what to become? What exactly do I want to do for the rest of my life?
I’m in healthcare now, but…UGH! If I’m going to school I’d like to just get out of here! There is somewhat of a job security in healthcare, but still….UGH! Let me run if I can.
There’s the whole adoption interest in my life. I’ve thought of being a social worker. Is that something that I would be interested in 30 years from now though too? It could be a pretty heart wrenching job. Joy and sorrow that could wear me down.
On the other hand, I have plenty of options in social work.
Art would be great. Fiber art even better. Get a job though. To be successful enough to be able to raise a family. Don’t think so.
I’m leaning towards something in helping the visually impaired. Not sure if that would be teaching or something else. It’s a passion of mine, for obvious reason. One that I don’t believe will ever leave me.
I’m struggling though. We aren’t rich by any means. But we are living comfortably. We get some extras, but aren’t spoiled either. I’ll have to play my cards right. I’m sure the kids will be upset when I tell them the cable will be shut off. Who needs cable anyways?!—ME! Of course there’s other ways we can spend our money more wisely.
Guess I’m just looking at my options right now. Not sure what I’m going to do. I do know that the clock is ticking and I am running out of time to figure out what to do!
*One bonus for the blog if I do go to school is my writing should improve! I’m the first to admit I’m a lazy writer/typer. Sorry to all that bear through it. I’m usually just happy to get a post out.
 | Coco on Christmas Tree Trauma |
 | roni on YAY!!!!! |
| Coco on YAY!!!!! |
 | Mandi on YAY FOR ME!!!! |
| Bad News….Good… on A Long Over Due Letter |
