Archive for March, 2009

And we wait some more…

March 31, 2009 · Filed under Elijah, life, venting, whining

Last week I received a surprising letter in the mail. It was from Elijah’s father, JW. Apparently the courts feel he needs to start providing health care insurance to Eli. Which our divorce papers state he is suppose to, but never has. I’m thinking it has part to do with Eli’s Medicaid. The state probably feels if they are paying JW should too. I couldn’t agree more, but wonder why they didn’t go after him before Eli had Medicaid.

I somewhat had to laugh, because it was very apparent that JW was not the one that wrote the letter or even addressed the envelope. The handwriting was no where near his. I recall this so well, his wife is taking care of his responsibilities because otherwise it will be tossed in the closet. Hey… if she wants to, more power to her.

I had to provide JW with all of Eli’s insurance coverage information. I expressed my need for an insurance card. I also asked for a booklet as I will now need to make a claim to his insurance for the CCTV as well. I’m doubting he will provide an insurance card to me, but he has to, so I can provide the information to Elijah’s health care providers.

I see JW’s insurance as a good and bad thing. Good in that if I can get my insurance to cover a CCTV  can get two. Right?! (I hope!) And bad because this is only going to prolong the process. We are currently on day 19 of my 15 to 30 day wait with my insurance company.

Along with my response I enclosed forms for him to sign for Elijah to change his last name to mine. This was done per Elijah’s request. He asked for this years ago. I always told him to wait and see what the future brings.

Well, the future has shown him that JW wishes to be absent.

JW can check “yes” he agrees to it, or “no” and he needs to stated his reason for not agreeing. If I receive any response I will be floored. Even a no response will shock the h*ll out of me. I enclosed $3 to cover the cost of a Notary Public. And I sent it certified mail.

If he doesn’t respond I will place a legal notice in the local paper and wait out our time.

If he responds with a no, we will decide if we continue to go to court or not. We can just wait until Elijah is 14 and we don’t need JW’s permission at all. Elijah can make that choice on his own. I guess it will al depend on the money that will be involved.

Originally Elijah also wanted to change his middle name, which is named after JW. I told him I thought he should keep it to remember the good parts of his father. He has agreed.

When JW got married this past summer he changed his last name. So we do somewhat wonder if he will agree, just because he doesn’t carry the same last name anymore. But, knowing JW he will probably say no or not respond just to be an *SS.

So we wait! Right now we wait for my insurance company to respond to my CCTV request. We wait for JW’s insurance information. We wait for JW’s response to Elijah’s last name change request.

I don’t like waiting…..I’m very impatient with stuff like this. I want my answers NOW! :)

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ELi, Andrew, PooWee, and Me

March 18, 2009 · Filed under Andrew, Elijah, Family, Just for fun, My Boys, PooWee, life, me

NO SURGERY!! Eli’s disk has not slipped much further, so Dr. H doesn’t want to do anything with it yet. We go back in 6 months for another X-ray to check it.

He needs to continue to stay away from contact sports. Why is it the sports that Eli would beable to continue playing, his back is preventing him from playing. I only see Eli playing soccer, basketball or volleyball through the elementary level. Once he hits junior high, the sports will become more competitive and he’s going to be the bench warmer. I encourage him that when this time comes he can manage a team and help out. Now football and wrestling are two sports he probably could do throughout his school years. In footbal they hadhim play a front line defense (I soooo don’t know football) position that worked well for him. With wrestling his vision doesn’t seem to interfer.

It saddens me, but he moves on. He over comes one obsticle after another.

Andrew, oh Andrew! His father and I went to his conferences last night and I’m not too happy.  He has a severe case of senioritis! He is SOOOO NOT working up to his protential in school anymore. His last GPA was 3.8 and the kid’s progress report was SO SAD!! One A-gym, for Cs a D and one F for an incomplete assignment that he blames on a group project and his partners haven’t finished their end. GGGGGRRRRRR!!!!

Of course Andrew is shrugging his shoulder and shows he really doesnt care. His lacrosse coach is his calculaus teacher and mentioned he is watching his grades closely as he could be dropped from lacrosse. I know he doesn’t want that.

Andrew has this strong intuition that he only needs to maintain a 1.5 GPA. We’ve reminded him over and over again that even though he got excepted into college, they can drop him. But, heknows somene that got in with a 1.5 and so he feels he shouldn’t have to worry. He’s enjoying “relaxing”on his school work.

PLUS!!!! HE FEEL ASLEEP IN ONE OF HIS MORNING CLASSES!!!! When I heard that I almost fell off the chair. I now get his cell phone at night so he can’t stay up texting, I’m putting a parental block on the cable box today to so he can’t watch after 10pm and he isn’t allowed on the computer after 10. He now MUST be in bed at 10 every night. He is not too happy with his father and I. OH WELL!!!!

Poo-man Choo-man is DONE playing with his poopy!!!! :) YAY-so happy that only last a week! That was so yucky! He knew it too! He’d show me his hands and go, “icky momma.”

BUT–where do two year old learn to lie?! He’ll be pooping, you can tell by the look on his face the positioning of his body.

“Are you pooping?”

“Nooo!”

“Are you sure? Momma thinks your pooping?”

“Nooo!” His head is also gesturing no.

“I smell poopies! Do you have poopies in your pants?”

He continues to deny it! What’s up with that! How dumb does he think I am! :)

He’s loving playing outside! We only have a few patches of snow left in the yard. It is so nice to be outside without freezing my butt off. YAY for nice weather.

Me—I finally picked up a book. I must admit I don’t read very much at all. I always say if I have time to read I have time to knit.

I’ve been longing to reconnect to my dreams again. I use to be so into dreams and throughout the years I have let everyday life interfere with that. So I picked up my favorite book, Conscious Dreaming by Robert Moss which I have read about 4 times already.

I have only made it through the introduction and I have already had some awesome dreams that I can start interpreting and learning from. My dream journal is in full swing again and I am so excited about that.

I strongly believe dreams are so much more than just a nighttime “thing” as my niece’s church told her at one time. I personally have experienced things in dreams only to have that moment happen in real life MONTHS AFTER the dream. My dream journal verified that for me.

“The future can be seen, and because it can be seen seen, it can be changed.” -J.B. Priestly

I dreamt of  California before I was ever there in the physical world. The place, the people and the colors were vivid enough in my dream that when I was physically there I knew I had been there before. A search through my dream journal proved to me I was there. Still runs shivers down my back thinking about it. I’ve had a few more encounters like this.

I love to fly in my dreams. I just reach my arms up and I fly away to where ever I want to go. It’s a feeling of such freedom and peace.

I often think how I should have been with my dreams while I was pregnant with the Poo-Wee. I detached myself from everything that was me. I wonder what my dreams would have told me. I wonder if they would have awakened me to what my life was really about at that time.

Elijah once had  dream journal as well. His journal held a lot of nightmares. His journal helped him through his nightmares. He learned to control his nightmares by fighting them back. His therapy to win the battle that his father put into his head. Sure, he still has them now and then, but NOTHING like it use to be.

Prepare yourselves with my new/old obsession…DREAMS. Perhaps I will be babbling a lot about them.

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Elijah Elijah Elijah

March 16, 2009 · Filed under Blind, Elijah, Family, Helping others, Parenting, fustration, life, me, venting, visually impaired, whining

There always seems to be something pertaining to Elijah that is eating on my mind. Currently I have a few thoughts ripping at me constantly.

*Tomorrow Elijah has his appointment with Dr. H, his spine doctor. If his disc has slipped anymore Dr. H may propose surgery to fuse the disc in place.

I sure hope he doesn’t need surgery. Back surgery just isn’t a good thing and at such a young age.

But, I keep having these thoughts that IF he does have the surgery will he be able to go back into football, gymnastics and wrestling? Will he ever be able to play these sports that he loves so much again? Guess these are questions I will have to save for Dr. H tomorrow.

Elijah is more worried about the IV then getting his back cut open. He remembers waking up from his hernia surgery when he was 3 and having the IV with an arm board on to protect it. He did not like it…AT ALL! If he could have, he would have ripped it out.Oh it makes me chuckle now to remeber how mad he was at that darn IV.

*Summer school……….UGH!! His classroom teacher suggested summer school for his reading fluency, ONCE AGAIN!!! GGGRRRRR!!!!! This poor kid is constantly being told he reads too slow. I’m so sick of hearing that, seriously people!! I would really like to make a pair of glasses, blur out the center, put 4 to 5 black spots, representing his blind spots on the lens and tell his teachers to read fast. HE IS NEVER GOING TO READ PRINT AS FAST AS THE REST OF HIS PEERS!!!!

I’m all for helping him improve from his current state. However, I think that we are driving him to despize reading by constantly pushing him and making him do extra work to improve. I want him to enjoy reading.

After looking at his summer camp schedule and summer school schedule he would only be at summer school for at the most days. Does it pay? His teacher says, “Yes, some school is better than no school.” She also stated that if I chose not to send him, she believed I would work with him during the summer. Which if I do not send him I will set up a reading contract with him. I plan on making a reward system for him.

Looking into Elijah’s future he will always read print, large print, but for lengthy reading he will read braille. I believe there will be a time when he is proficient enough in braille that he will read at the same speed as his peers. I would so much rather see him get braille this summer verses reading.

However, braille is not an obtion fr summer school. There will be no vision serves verses his adaptive equipment available to him.

So…do I send him to summer school?

*Called my insurance company on Friday for an update on my CCTV claim. It has yet to go to the review board. I should hear something in 15 to 30 days. THE WAIT IS KILLING ME!

*Counseling continues on Thursday. We thought he would be done, but more and more information about the events his jack*ss of a dad did to him are coming out.

On the way home from our last visit, Elijah started crying. He wanted to know why his dad did these things to him. He asked why his dad has chosen not to see him for 5 years. He also mentioned he is sad to see his friends with their dads and seeing Andrew and PooWee go to see their dads.

I told Elijah that I honestly can’t tell him I know how it feels to not have a dad around, because my dad was always there for me. I told him it hurts me to see him have so much pain and I wish I knew how to help him. I ensured him that it was NOT HIS FAULT his father does not see him. I believe his father is running away from the mistakes he made verses facing them. His father has decided not to do supervised visitation and parenting classes because then he would have to confess to his errors.

I’d be lieing if I said I’d like to see his father come back into his life. Maybe I’m a bit selfish here. If his father ever comes back into his life, I just see more pain for Elijah. However, if Elijah ever wants to try and reconnect with him, I will support his decision. I will make sure the contact is done slowly and in the proper manner.

I’m hoping that Elijah’s counselor will work on these feelings with him more on Thursday.

*We’re crossing our fingers I can switch shift with someone so we can go to the VisionWalk in Milwaukee on May 31. All proceeds go to retinal diseases…how could we not go, Elijah has a retinal disease.

It would be a long day for us. Milwaukee is about 4 hours from us, we would need to leave about 4-5 am and I’m sure we wouldn’t get home until late. BUT IT WOULD BE SO EXCITING AND REWARDING!!! I WANNA WANNA WANNA GO SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO BAD!!!!!

*Elijah is currently working on a piece of artwork to enter for the American Printing House for the Blind InsightArtwrk Competition.

They choose artwork for calendars, cards and some for an exhibit at the museum.

I’ll be sure to post a picture of his finished piece.

GOOD LUCK ELIJAH!!!

Well, that’s about all…for now.

Elijah, Elijah, Elijah, he sure know how to keep me on my toes! I just so very much wish he didn’t have to go through all that he does. I try to live by the good ‘ol saying, “God only hands you what he feels you can handle.” Perhaps God knows that Elijah is strong enough and special enough to handle all that life hs handed him in his short 10 years he been here.

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The Letter

March 5, 2009 · Filed under Blind, Elijah, visually impaired

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Dr. W ROCKS!

I got the letter in the mail on Tuesday. We faxed it yesterday to my insurance company. And now we wait…

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