Why is it that one phone call can get me so irritated. This phone call coming from one of my sisters, K. A sister who hasn’t called me in, oh my, I don’t even know how long.
The phone call was her attempt in making me feel guilty about a couple of things, but all she managed to do was get smoke out of my ears. She happened to call me when I was in a store. I maintained myself and just sat on the phoned shocked at what she was even saying. After I hung up I felt like hitting a brick wall.
Here’s the deal. My Uncle and Aunt are having their 50th Wedding Anniversary. The celebration is this Saturday. I’d love to go. But I can’t, I’m working. I need atleast two months notice to take a vacation day. When they first started talking about the anniversary it was just going to be small and I wouldn’t have been invited anyways, so no need to take a vacation day. Well, things changed and they decided on inviting the nieces and nephews after all. I wrote my request for switching hours. There are only two other girls that work my position, they couldn’t or didn’t want to switch. They don’t have too, so I have to work.
I work weekend only by my choice. It gives me more time with my boys overall. Getting paid more is also an added bonus. With that, I have also chosen to miss events that happen on the weekends. Except it people, I won’t make everything!
K had a “solution”, she always does. As long as it makes her look like the hero, she’s game. Well, I should goto this party after work. I only need to go for a “half hour”. I should feel “obligated to go” because uncle and aunt “always send us birthday cards” and a “50th Anniversary doesn’t happen too often now a days”.
She proceeded to tell me that she is out of state in Nebraska and leaving her event early Saturday morning to drive home just to make it. Good for her. I glad she has found a way to make it!
I explained that I have my substitute sitter watching the boys that weekend and she can’t watch them any longer because she is also working Saturday night, night shift, and does need a nap before going in. Kids are not invited. Oh K had the solution once again. “Can’t Andrew babysit!” Sorry, Andrew is working until 10. Well, then she added “Her girls were available. They are 15, 21ish and 24ish. Oh, I soooo would not ask them to babysit.
If I paid them $5 less than what K thought I should, believe me the whole family would hear a dramatized story. I can hear it now…Her daughter(s) were kind enough to make sure I could make it to the party to watch my boys. Without them I had no other way to go. And then they only got X amount of pay when they should have received XY amount. Let’s not forget that I am already forking out an EXTRA $100 for my substitute sitter.
I’m realistic here, maybe because I’m the one that would have to “live” the schedule that I would be on just to go to the party.
Saturday Oct. 4th
5:30 am- rise and shine! Time for a 12hr shift!
7:00pm- done with work. IF I’m lucky enough not to have to stay after because of an admit or a code. (Although, who cares if I’m needed to help save someones live…I’ve got a party to go to!) Sense the sarcasm!
7:15pm – arrive at sitters. Hope the boys are all packed up and ready to head over to another sitters house. Don’t worry about a 22 month old not seeing his mommy all day or a 9 year old that has alot to talk about, we gotta go! They need to get to another sitter’s house and I need to get to a party.
7:30pm – Hopefully we are at the next sitter’s place by this time. Now, I get to deal with the agony of saying good-bye to PooWee. I know he isn’t going to like it. Basically, he wants to be at home, nursing and going to sleep. (WAIT that’s right! I shouldntbe nursing him anyways…”he’s almost 2 years old already!”)
8:00pm-(doubt it!) At home changing from work uniform into dress-up clothes.
8:30pm – leave home for my “about 20 minute” drive. (K thinks this is the length of time.)
8:50pm – Arrive at party. I only have to stay 30 minutes!
9:20pm – I get to leave.
9:40pm – picking up the boys from the sitters. (Haven’t I already been through this?) I’m sure PooWee will be alot of fun…it’s only well over an hour past his bedtime.
10:00pm – am I finally home? Gee what do I d first. Try to put the overtired baby to sleep. He’s probably on his second wind and isn’t thinking about dreamland what-so-ever. Do I start unpacking from the day and repacking for Sunday? Do I finally get myself some supper? Do I make sure the animals are all feed or can they go for one day without food? How well is Elijah going to cope with no attention as well?
I think my bedtime will be midnight, if I’m lucky. Fine, if I didn’t have to get up and work another 12 hour shift on Sunday. Boys will be over joyed to get up at 5am after getting to bed super late. But, hey I don’t have to deal with them the following day, the sitter does. WAIT! K doesn’t have to put up with them either!
I know this is something she would not have done when her kids were younger, so why is she telling me to do it?! My theory…she wants the credit for getting me to the party. Me and everyone else she was calling who weren’t going to make it. Uncle and Auntie were round and round about who was all invited, then invites went out and there are quite a few of us that can’t make it. We should feel guilty about it?! I’m sad I can’t make it. I will be sending them my regrets with their Anniversary card.
Makes me wonder why she felt the need to call me for this, but never called me to tell me that the family reunion was on this year and where it was.
But this isn’t all she had to say to me. Oh no…there’s more! I’m not going to elaborate on the next issue too much as I don’t want to hurt someones feelings. (She reads the blog.) Lets just say that B bought something for Mom, agreed to pay for additional expenses and for some reason isn’t liking paying these expenses anymore.
Well, K feels I should take on these expenses because, “Mom has your kids.” WHAT?! Did I have anything to do with this agreement from the beginning? NO! I was NO WHERE IN SIGHT! Mom and I have our own arrangements. I DO pay Mom for what she does for me, I DO appreciate what she does for me and I owe NOTHING towards B and Mom’s agreement.
K says this agreement is getting in the way of Mom and B’s relationship. AGAIN explain to me why I’m involved? Because she watches my boys?
She mentioned B has no clue of her asking me this. I think she was out of line in asking me this. I will be talking to B about this and explaining my position. I’m sorry feels she can’t go on with this arrangement with Mom, but I’m not going to pick it up. Number 1, I can’t afford it! I’m sad it has come between her and Mom, but it’s not my responsibility to pick up the pieces. I can’t!
I find that K has a much better relationship with B than with Mom. So, she finds making B happy to be her objective. And to be the hero in this difficult situation would just make her shine!
K feel free NOT to call me with anymore of your requests! I’ve had enough of them for quite awhile!
I wrote her a letter pretty much the same as this post. I would have called her, but felt my tone would be more appropriate in writing. I’m positive there will be so many more negative things said about me now. Honestly, I don’t care.
For example: Her daughter once made a bad choice and walked (intentionally) out of my house with Andrew’s sweatshirt. Andrew’s friend saw her carrying it outside as well. I called her that night and asked her to bring the sweatshirt to school to Andrew the following day. She denied the whole thing. I explained that we all make mistakes and all will be forgotten when she made the right choice. I spoke with K about it as well.
Well, my niece went on with her lie for quite a few months. In this time I spoke to Mom about this situation and that was it. K on the other hand told EVERYONE I was accusing her daughter of stealing from me. People went off, I mean yelling at MOM for all this, YELLING at ELIJAH for all this. But not one person came to me. My mom never even started the conversation about the sweatshirt, they just felt she needed to hear what they had to say! (Yeah, this is my family! – Sad I know!)
Funny thing is the guilt took over my niece. She called Andrew up one day, returned the sweatshirt and offered to give him $50 for it, but he refused the money. My niece grew…she learnt from her mistake and took the responsibility in fixing it. I don’t hold a grudge against her.
But, I do hold a bit of a grudge against K. As NO ONE was told that the situation was that her daughter had stolen from me. NO ONE apologized to MOM or ELIJAH for yelling at them about what I said her daughter did.
If anybody is wondering why I choose to separate myself from alot of family involvement these are the reasons why. I find my family to be very “clicky”. Reminds me of high school hallways. Not everyone is this way, but it only takes a few to make a statement.
I can’t wiat til the day I move ou of this city and leave all this and more negativity behind!
I have to admit I like it when he is grounded because then he’s stuck with us.
